


Flochbloched

by Reikukaja



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Humor, Canon Universe, Crack, F/M, Humor, Implied Eremika, One-sided JeanKasa, POV Jean Kirstein, Pining, Side Springles, Unresolved Romantic Tension, mikafloch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reikukaja/pseuds/Reikukaja
Summary: Year 854 (Pre-Festival)Jean, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, and Floch enjoy a night out.Floch sets his sights on Mikasa. Jean insists he doesn't have a chance, but that only makes Floch more determined.Suffering ensues....It sucks to be Jean.





	Flochbloched

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ItSucksToBeJean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItSucksToBeJean/gifts).



"So Jean," Connie said, setting his glass on the table. "You gonna say anything to her this time?" 

"What are you talking about?" Jean asked, puzzled. He glanced over his shoulder to verify that Mikasa was still chatting at the bar with that other soldier she was familiar with. 

"You know... Mikasa."

"What about her?"

"She actually came out with us tonight," Connie explained. "She almost never does that. I just thought tonight might.. You know... be a good opportunity for you."  

"Are you drunk?" Jean asked, leaning back and raising an eyebrow. "It's really not the right time to be thinking about that."

It  _wasn't_ a good time to be thinking about that. Eren had been gone for months now, and Mikasa was only just starting to bounce back. Sure, she'd come out with them tonight... but that didn't mean approaching her with any hope for romance was a good idea. It should have been obvious to everyone that she was still in a lot of pain.

"I think," Sasha hiccupped beside him. " _Connie_ _is drunk."_

"And so are you," Jean sighed. He was always the most controlled of the three of them when they went out. Sure, he'd overdone it a couple of times in the past, but he'd gotten pretty good at pacing himself when it came to alcohol. 

"Only a little bit," Sasha assured him, holding out her index finger only a small distance from her thumb. "But  _c'monnnn_ _._ Even if it's too soon now, you can still make some progress with her.  _You know.._. show her what a great guy you are and stuff." 

"What she said," Connie almost managed to look wise as he took another sip from his drink.   _Almost_ , because he half-missed his mouth, and ale dribbled down his chin and onto his shirt. He wasn't even the first to notice it.

Sasha snorted at his display, and then smirked before turning to face Jean.

" _Plus_ you've gotten  _suuuper_ handsome lately, _"_  she slurred. "I mean _...._  this beard is  _incredible."_ She stroked his jaw delicately with her finger, giggling. 

Jean fended her off as best he could. She got so damn handsy when she drank.

"Stop that right now," Connie grumbled, kicking Sasha under the table. 

"Oh whatever," she rolled her eyes, but reached her hand out across the table for Connie to take. "You know you're my bae."

Connie blushed and accepted her outstretched hand in one of his. 

"Awww," Jean cooed exaggeratedly, thrilled to have the focus shift away from him. "You guys are just too cute."

He wasn't kidding though. Connie and Sasha  _were_ a great couple. He expected to hear any day that they'd decided to get married. Life was unpredictable, especially the life that they chose. That seemed a good enough reason.

"It's too bad Armin couldn't join us this time," Connie said after a moment, smiling thoughtfully.  "He's such a fun drunk."

Sasha giggled in agreement. 

"He's probably perfectly content buried in a book Hange wants him to extract some useful information from," Jean assured them. "Besides, I'm already going to have my hands full just making sure you two make it back tonight. Armin's even more of a lightweight."

Connie and Sasha both laughed. It was completely true. "Lightweight" may have been the understatement of the year... and when Armin drank, he got  _weird._

"Yo!!" Floch announced himself by slapping Jean's back so hard that he spilled some of his drink, and then slid into the booth beside Connie. That was Mikasa's spot. 

"Hey Floch!" Connie grinned when Floch slipped his arm around Connie's shoulder. 

Jean and Sasha each just lifted a hand in greeting. Nobody  _really_  liked Floch, but they tolerated him.  It was easier to tolerate him after a couple of drinks.

"So I was thinking..." Floch began, grinning darkly. "Mikasa's pretty hot."

Jean almost spat out his drink. That was.... sudden. "You have  _no_  chance," he said emphatically, and chuckled.

"Is that so?" Floch lifted his head and stroked his chin thoughtfully. "It's a good thing I like a challenge." 

"It's  _not_ a challenge," Jean corrected him. "It's just a bad idea."

"Eren's gone," Floch shrugged. "Been gone for months. Mikasa never comes out with us but she came out tonight. Seems like a good time to me." 

"You're an idiot," Sasha sighed. 

"We'll see if you're still saying that tomorrow," Floch said confidently. He got up from the booth and began walking toward Mikasa. 

Connie was the only one positioned in such a way that he could easily watch the encounter. As soon as Floch was out of earshot, Sasha kicked him gently under the table to get his attention. 

"Tell us how quickly she murders him," she whispered with a devilish grin.

"I can't wait to see how many pieces she cuts him into," Jean agreed.

"I got this," Connie nodded, his expression serious.

Jean and Sasha watched Connie for a reaction to what was happening behind them. 

"What's going on?" Sasha asked impatiently after only a couple of seconds. 

"Hold on," Connie grumbled. "Floch just got to her."

"And...?" 

Connie glared at his girlfriend across the table, and then looked back up to where Floch was probably making a fool of himself with Mikasa. Jean wondered how he would handle the rejection that was surely coming. His ego could use a little bruising.

"Wait," Connie gasped, his eyes going wide. "What the hell?"

"What?" Jean asked coolly. He wasn't even a little bit worried.

"They're leaving."

"What?!" Sasha exclaimed, quickly turning around in her seat. 

Jean did the same, and saw that Connie appeared to be right. They were leaving. Jean looked over just in time to see Floch look back and flick his tongue at him menacingly. He shuddered.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jean groaned, turning back around in his seat. This wasn't supposed to happen.

* * *

 

Sleep didn't come easy to Jean that night. In fact, it didn't come at all. 

Sure, maybe he was jealous. 

He'd been so certain though. Mikasa would  _never_ go for a dirtbag like Floch _._ Was he really that misguided?

_Damn it._

He shouldn't have encouraged him. He should have known that telling Floch something would  _not_  happen would only strengthen his desire to  _make_  it happen. Floch didn't react rationally to being told that he couldn't have something. It just made him want that thing more.  

Ironic, Jean thought, that he himself might be the one most responsible for the girl of his dreams going home with  _Floch_.

It really fucking sucked to be Jean.

* * *

 

That morning, Jean was the first at breakfast. It wasn't as if he was very hungry, but he'd grown tired of lying restlessly in bed.  The day was going to be hell. 

"You look awake," Connie greeted him as he sat beside Jean at the table they always ate at lately. "Surprised to see you here before me and Sasha."

Jean hadn't even noticed him approach. He'd been too busy toying with the food in front of him with his fork. 

"He's being sarcastic," Sasha clarified, sitting across from Connie. "You look  _awful_ Jean. We weren't out  _that_ late. Didn't you sleep?" 

"I tried," he grumbled. 

"Oh right," Connie said while resting his hand on Jean's shoulder. "Oi."

"Oi," Jean agreed in a monotone voice.

"Yeahhhh," Connie scratched head. "Man that would suck. If Floch and Mikasa... you know.... because of something  _you_ said." 

"I am  _fully_ aware." Some things just didn't need to be said.

Sasha cringed slightly. She hadn't touched any of her food yet either. That was weird. 

"What's up Sasha?" Jean asked, afraid of what she would tell him.

"Mikasa.... ahh," she paused and laughed nervously. "She didn't come back to her bed last night."

" _Awesome,"_ was really all Jean could think to say.

"I'm sorry Jean," she told him weakly. 

Jean was going to respond, but when he looked in Sasha's direction he glimpsed the source of his current agitation walking toward them.

"Heyyy!" Floch called out as he approached, a satisfied grin plastered across his face. 

He looked damn happy with himself. Something must've happened. _Oh god something happened._

It should have come as no surprise that he sat next to Jean, who of course noticed how disheveled Floch's hair was. 

"Good Morning!" Sasha greeted him, giving him what must have been the most genuine smile she could muster up. 

"Didja have a good night, Floch?" Connie asked, earning a sharp look from his girlfriend. 

"Best night of my  _life."_

Connie, Sasha, and Jean all just looked at Floch awkwardly, unsure of how to respond.

_What a_ _slimeball_ _._

"I wonder where Mikasa's at," Floch said after a moment, to no one in particular. "Oh right, she might just be having a hard time walking. Maybe I should bring her some breakfast."

Jean tried not to look at him, pretended he wasn't there. He really needed to  _not_  react to this.

"Oh, and Jean," Floch said as he draped his arm around Jean's shoulders in a brotherly way, refusing to be ignored. "Thanks for the encouragement last night." 

"I didn't encourage you to do anything," Jean replied coolly, still not looking at Floch. He was just so unbelievably awful.  He still couldn't believe Mikasa would ever–

"Good morning," Mikasa said cheerfully when she and Armin joined everyone at the table, sitting opposite Jean and Floch.  She'd managed to sneak up on them while they'd all been too distracted by Floch being...  _Floch_.

"Good M-morning," Sasha waved nervously. 

When Mikasa joined them, the atmosphere changed. Connie and Sasha's eyes darted between Floch, Mikasa, and Jean. As if waiting for something to happen. 

"Why are you all being weird?" Armin asked, noticing the tension in the air. 

Mikasa glanced at Armin and then at everyone else. "What's going on?"

Nobody was in a hurry to answer her question. 

Jean was surprised to see how put-together she looked. She didn't look sloppy or unkempt in any way. She looked... normal? 

"Were you up late Mikasa?" Connie asked, bravely. "You're normally not last to breakfast."

"Yeah," Mikasa said, yawning. "I didn't sleep much at all." 

_It would have been better if Connie hadn't asked._

_"_ I hope you all had a good time last night after I left, she continued. "I guess I just wasn't in the mood for a night out." 

"Well _I_ appreciated the help Mikasa," Armin smiled at her warmly. 

_What?_

"Wait," Connie interjected. "You were with Armin last night?" 

"Of course," Mikasa answered as if it were obvious.  "He stayed back to help Hange with her research. I thought I could maybe help lighten the load a little bit." 

_What?_

"Oh!" Sasha exclaimed. "So when you didn't come back to your bed last night..."

"I accidentally fell asleep in Hange's study," Mikasa laughed, before looking around and noting everyone's facial expressions. 

_What?_

Jean was.... shocked? Relieved? Angry? He only really knew that he was exhausted. He blinked a few times after hearing Mikasa's words, and then turned his head slightly so that he could see Floch's reaction.

It was strangely satisfying to see that Floch's smug grin had disappeared. He was clearly trying to look as unaffected as possible. 

Connie was the first to burst into laughter. Sasha wasn't far behind him. Jean might have laughed too if he wasn't so damn tired. 

"What is going on?" Mikasa looked to both Connie and Sasha for answers. They were too busy wheezing between bouts of laughter to answer her. 

Armin appeared as if he was starting to piece everything together, and he studied the reactions of the four people who seemed to know what was going on. "Floch... what did you do?" 

"Sasha," Mikasa grabbed Sasha's shoulder and tried to shake some sense into her. "Tell me." 

"Floch–" Sasha began, before snorting and losing herself again in a fit of giggles. 

"Sasha. Get a grip." 

"He made us think you spent the night together," Connie blurted out. For a second it looked like he would rejoin Sasha in her madness, but Mikasa's monstrous glare is probably what stopped him. 

After hearing Connie's announcement, her expression darkened. For once, Jean was relieved to not be the person who had Mikasa's attention. He also had to admit that he enjoyed seeing Floch shrink away slightly as Mikasa's stare burned into him. 

"What did you do Floch?" she asked coldly.

 "I don't know what he's talking about," Floch told her, shrugging and leaning back in his chair. 

Mikasa was fast. Before anyone really knew what was happening, she'd risen from her chair and walked around the table to approach Floch. In another couple seconds, she'd pulled him up from his chair violently and twisted his arm behind him in what looked to be an incredibly painful hold. 

"Aghhh," Floch grunted painfully. 

 She knew just the right amount of pain to inflict to make him sing. None of the four people watching made a move to stop her. 

He hurriedly recounted for them the actual events of the previous night. 

When Floch approached Mikasa at the bar, she'd told him that she was actually getting ready to leave. He saw an opportunity and took it upon himself to escort her out.  He then offered to walk with her wherever she was going, but she declined. They went their separate ways after leaving. That was it. 

_That was it?_

Mikasa shoved Floch to the ground when he finished talking, and he winced as he rubbed his arm where she'd gripped it. She quietly returned to her seat, without looking directly at anyone else. 

Armin continued to stare down at Floch with a raised eyebrow. 

"What?" Floch snapped at him.

"You had to know this would happen," Armin said, thoughtfully. "That Mikasa would learn what you've been telling people."

"Yeah, so?"

"I don't understand what... you got out of it I guess?" Armin finished, frowning. 

"Oh! Seriously?" Floch's mouth curled back into a smirk. "Have any of you  _seen_ Jean this morning?"

_Oh no._

"I thought it would be fun to try to get a reaction out of him," Floch continued. "You guys know how I love to fuck with Jean.... and this was the most success I've ever had. Look at him. He looks like shit. Maybe worse than  _me."_

Jean's breath caught in his throat and he felt the blood drain from his face.

While he didn't look up at anyone, he could feel people staring at him. He hoped Mikasa wasn't one of them.

"You're an asshole," Connie said to Floch, smiling crookedly in disbelief. Jean would have to remember to thank him later for breaking that uncomfortable silence. 

The discussion drifted back to Floch, and Jean took advantage of the opportunity to try to slink away. He was going back to bed. It wasn't unheard of for people to take a day off because of a hangover, and it was something he'd never done before. This was close enough to a hangover, he thought.

* * *

 

Jean breathed a sigh of relief when he could no longer hear his friends talking and turned another corner. 

"Jean!" someone shouted, walking briskly to catch up to him. 

Not  _someone_ , but Mikasa. 

_Damn it._

"Oh uh..." Jean stopped walking and turned around to face her, scratching the back of his head. "H-hey Mikasa." Did his voice seriously just crack? Here? Now?  _Really?_

Had he seriously almost had the courage to flirt with this woman last night? No way.  _Not this Jean_ _Kirschtein_ _._

"Hey," she echoed, scratching the back of her own head. She stopped only a pace away from where he stood.

Jean couldn't read her in the slightest. Mikasa didn't look nervous, or shy, or any other emotion that would give him a little more optimism. There wasn't the faintest bit of color in her cheeks. No, there wouldn't be. Eren Jaeger was out there somewhere. Jean's feelings would mean little to her right now.

"Did you.... actually think anything would happen between me and Floch?" She asked, tilting her head slightly. 

"I ah...  _wasn't sure?_ " Jean wasn't sure why he said it like it was a question.  _He_ was supposed to be the one answering  _her_ question.  _He was an idiot._  

"I mean," he cleared his throat, coughing into his fist.  "I didn't think you would go for Floch but we also didn't really know where you went."

"I see," she said, giving nothing away. "And that upset you?"

_Damn it._

"Ah–  I mean...I wasn't...he just...agh."

_Damn_ _it. Damn_ _it._ _Damn_ _it._

Jean ceased trying to speak and took a deep breath. He  _would_ keep his shit together.

"Yeah," he finally managed to answer. "But don't take that the wrong way or anything. I mean.... It was  _Floch._ "

He was pleased with himself. That seemed like a reasonable way to explain his reaction.  He saw what looked like the beginnings of a smile form on Mikasa's face, and decided to keep going.

"Any good friend would have been.. bothered by the possibility of that happening," he elaborated. "Floch's.....  _Floch._ Everyone knows you deserve better than  _that._ " 

Jean was downplaying his own feelings, but that was okay. Those could wait.

"You think so?" Mikasa asked without meeting his gaze, the tone of her voice giving nothing away. Jean wished he could do that.

"Of course!" 

She just hummed and shifted her weight onto her other foot. 

"And what about Eren?" she asked, finally looking at him.

"What about him?" Jean asked, surprised by both the question and the way she looked at him. "Don't worry. We're going to bring him back."

"No," she shook her head. "I mean... do you think I deserve better than him?" 

 _That_ was a  _loaded_ question. 

"My opinion doesn't matter," Jean answered, but not unkindly. "I want you to be happy... and Eren... he makes you happy."

"He does."

"Although honestly..." He should have stopped there, but he just couldn't help himself. "I'd still say you deserve better. I'd say that about pretty much any guy though."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow, surprised. Jean knew what she was about to ask, but he still hoped she wouldn't.

"Even you?"

" _Especially_ me."

You aren't supposed to say things like that. Jean didn't care. Besides, he would sound like an arrogant jerk if he insisted that he was the only guy alive who was great enough to deserve Mikasa Ackerman's affection. 

Mikasa smiled up at him then, a small but genuine smile that even managed to reach her eyes. It felt like it'd been ages since he'd seen one of those from her.

"Thanks, Jean," she told him warmly.

"Ah- right. Sure thing," he mumbled, not knowing what else to say. Surely there was something better he could have said.

When Mikasa returned to the others, Jean let out a giant sigh of relief. That hadn't gone too badly. Sure, there were no declarations of love or elaborate romantic gestures, but he was willing to take what he could get at this point. If what he could get was a smile, that was good enough.

And even  _if_ Eren  _did_ come back and  _if_ Mikasa  _did_ fall right back into his arms, Jean would be happy for them.

Yeah, it would sting... but he'd be happy for them.

Eren was  _worlds_ better than  _Floch._


End file.
